Holidays

Middle of the holiday season and all these years passed my heart is still wrenched daily with missing you, knowing you are no longer here to celebrate.
I am stuck in this grief and it roars to life without warning and knocks me to my knees again and again.
How is a person supposed to live with so much pain, so much hurt, so much misery?
The hours and the days go by with me in such a fog, without a purpose of any value.
You now have beautiful grandchildren that will never know you and it rips another hole in my heart knowing how much you looked forward to being a grandmother.
Oh, my beautiful Klysta you are missed so much.