Once again, I feel the emptiness, cry tears, and wonder will this feeling ever leave me?
I hug the ones I love a little tighter, a little longer fighting back the tears, trying to appear “normal” “strong” “coping well”
Inside my gut wrenches, my lungs struggle for air, my body responds with intense pain with no way to sanely release the grief I bear.
If I let it all out it would be an earth shattering scream, never ending, until I coughed and blood would appear from the rawness of my throat.
There is forever an emptiness within, life is not like it once was and never ever will it be so again.
There will always be the sound of your laughter in my heart, the feel of your arms about my neck,
the whisper of your voice “Momma I love you”
Time heals all wounds it is said, NO, NO, it does not. Sometimes things are normal but not often, holidays, the angelversary, your birthdays, family dinners then BAM life smacks me in the face again, your gone
and your not coming back.
You completed our family and now grieving the loss of you has taken your place, our hearts are broken and we cry tears for we have lost an integral part of ourselves.
I, I miss you my beautiful daughter and my public persona must be picked up and I must move on putting on my mask the one that says “I am okay, my life is good” all the while grief lingers reminding me my life will never be okay again, never be good again.